How Not To Win Mom of the Year.

This is how NOT to win Mom of the Year:

Take your kids to their pediatrician for their school physical. In November.

When they ask if they have to get any shots, quickly cover up the State of Texas immunization requirement form so they can’t see that they need to get vaccinated for Hepatitis-A (which isn’t required in Illinois), twice. Once today, once in 6 months.

Then fudge, and say “I’m not sure” and “let’s see what the doctor says”.

Don’t mention that if the doctor isn’t actually OUT of the flu shot this year, they’ll probably get that, too, because mom is tired of sick kids.

When they cry because they don’t want the shots, hug them. And unfortunately squish their faces against your shoulder, so that their still-new braces hurt the inside of their cheeks.

When one of them moves from anxiety into panic, say “you have to or you can’t go to school”. Because that isn’t the kid who actually ADORES school.

Worry a little bit that the kid just MIGHT be making a runner when they’re in the bathroom for the second time this visit. (Not counting the trip to pee in a cup.)

Make the scared kid go FIRST with a “trust me, you NEED to go first.” Hold that kid, tight, while the nurse gives the first shot.

Stifle a giggle when the wailing is still going on as the OTHER kid gets their second shot without a whimper; return a (sheepish) eye-roll to the nurse/receptionist when then wailing is still going on as the kid is stomping out the office door.

Realize that the time to tell them there is a six-month booster is actually 180 days from today.

Not.

Today.

Bribe them with Sonic cherry limeades for being “such troopers”.

Choke on your words as the kid is still sobbing in the back seat.

When the kids are asleep, pour yourself a stiff drink, and send up a prayer of thanks that the day is over.

 

Hope that tomorrow offers up an opportunity to redeem yourself, even though you know that today just wasn’t your fault.

 

Comments

  1. Oh dear, what a day. Hope tomorrow is better.

  2. Oh Good Grief, Sam! You’re too old for this!

    • In fairness, there is enough crap going on in his life that i just think all his coping mechanisms have broken down.
      It’s easier to stress about the shots than to deal with the upcoming move.

  3. Jenn, you are absolutely right! I am sure that is how it was.

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