The Morning I Won the Sweepstakes.

I WON

The number came up as “Unknown”.

It was 7:20 in the morning and I was packing lunch boxes. Normally, I wouldn’t answer while I’m trying to get the kids out the door to school, but as I’m fielding calls from various people with regards to our upcoming move and home sales/purchases, I answered, cautiously saying hello. A voice far too chipper for early o’clock replied “Hello!!”

After some prompting, the voice enthusiastically bellowed “This is Vincent! I’m the [VP/President/Head of Marketing] of Publisher’s Clearing House. Your phone number was on a postcard given to me this morning!!!!!”

[crickets]

“I’m excited to announce that YOU have won the Publisher’s Clearing House Sweepstakes!!! You have won TWO million FIVE hundred thousand DOLLARS!!!”

[more crickets]

“HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL???”

Well, it made me confused, because I don’t fill out sweepstakes forms. I peeked out the front window. I didn’t see anybody with balloons. There was no camera crew. Don’t they come to your door with the Prize Patrol? Where’s my life-sized check?

So I asked him how he got my number, since he obviously didn’t know my name. Which, apparently, is Miss Skeptic.

Clearly, this was NOT the response or possible soundbite he was looking for.

“Did you fill out a postcard?” Um, no.

“What about a sweepstakes form?” Nope. (Memories of my sweet grandmother, not wanting to leave the house because she got a postcard that said SHE was a winner of the Clearinghouse Sweepstakes and she wasn’t going to miss them sweep through me.)

“Did you fill out a form at WalMart?” – No.

“Well, maybe we have the wrong person.”

My query of what name he DID have in front of him was cut short by the click of the phone.

Huh. For a brief moment, I allowed myself the “what if?” In the middle of selling this house and buying a new one which doesn’t have a single curtain rod, let alone a single curtain, I dreamed of a free-for-all at HomeGoods and Bed Bath and Beyond. And Pottery Barn.

For a few moments, that lone thought creeps through the coffee deprived parts of my brain, taunting me. MrDid I just screw something up? What IF I had won the sweepstakes?

Naw.

If it was the real deal, the Prize Patrol would be ringing my doorbell, balloons and a life-sized check and camera crew in hand to catch me in all my unbrushed-teeth-messy-hair-and-yoga-pants-wearing glory.

And I would have been completely fine with that!

Comments

  1. It is a scary thought to think of how many people that crazy man scammed today! I’m glad you weren’t one of them! Great post! I think one day we will all hit the lottery in one way, shape or form!

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