In which I tell you why I’m awesome. By Default.

There were really great prompts for the Writers’ Workshop this week. Unfortunately, I struggled with all of them.

For example:

I have been living in corporate housing for the past 5 months while we wait to move back into our own house (we rented it while we were living overseas). I hate pretty much every room in this godforsaken townhouse, so I’ve got nothing with regards to giving you a tour of a room I love. Unless I take you to a friend’s house. She may or may not think that was so cool. (I will, however, revisit this when we get back into our own house….)

Thinking about the devastation in Oklahoma makes me feel pretty shitty about whining about this godforsaken townhouse, as it does actually have all four walls and  a roof, so I’m not able to write about it. I have enough guilt as it is.

“My week in Instagram photos” would consist of three field trip photos from the Chicago History Museum. One of which is a blurry shot of my son in a giant hot dog bun while his buddies pummel him with Chicago-style toppings. (??????) Enough said.

So of course, I have to write about how awesome I am.

*looks pointedly over my glasses*

In no particular order, here are fifteen reasons why I’m *chokes* awesome:

• I know all the lines in “the Princess Bride”. I know…inconceivable, right???!!!!
• I can totally crack up my son, and give him the giggles so bad that he makes me laugh until I have an asthma attack. Oh. Wait…
• Today I told my daughter “STOP working on your homework and just eat your chocolate pudding. PLEASE.” (Ok, so we had to leave and she totally wasn’t taking the pudding in my car, and I was impatient. But still. It should count.)
• I have declared Oreo cookies as a food group.
• I could be embarrassing my kids daily on my blog, but I haven’t posted in nearly a month. Is that really awesome? If you are my kids, with what they have been up to recently, YES.
• I write secret messages on the bananas my 7 y.o.takes to school for a snack.
• I sing at the TOP of my lungs, and don’t even get embarrassed when I realize I never switched off the Disney channel on XM after dropping off the kids. (Unless it’s the Bieber. We don’t like the Bieber.)
• I can pack the trunk of the minivan like nobody’s business. I do confess to being a bit smug when the Hubs says “it won’t fit. And it does. HA.
• I am a marathon reader – I LOVE books – and my house doesn’t look like I just spent half the day on the sofa with a cup of tea and a cookie. Mostly. Don’t look for crumbs.
• I have flown numerous transatlantic flights on my own with my two kids, the first time when they were 3 and 5, and wasn’t chased off the plane with pitchforks or peanut-wielding fellow flyers or flight attendants. (Even after the aforementioned 3 y.o. peed in her business class seat after SWEARING for 6 hours that she really. didn’t. have. to. pee.)  I’m still surprised BA hasn’t banned us for life. Or at least her.
• I played the role of Ali Baba for a play put on by the parents & teachers of my kids’ school in Wales. I wore a turban and a mustache, and think I only really got the part because they thought it would be funny to have Ali Baba played by an American…and I did it anyway.
• I have gained and lost the same 10 pounds SIX times. If only I could do that with all those missing socks…
• I can completely unpack after a move in THREE days. And I do mean completely, since I have a phobia about living out of boxes.
• I love my family SO much that I’m sending my husband and 9 y.o. son go to the Rolling Stones concert tomorrow night. On our 10-year anniversary.
• I’m totally modest.  Really.

Awesome might be too strong a word, perhaps “moderately interesting” is better. Or quirky. I can live with quirky.

Head on over to Mama’s Losin’ It for this weeks’ Writer’s workshop for more (actual) awesomeness and such!