Drama Momma?

There's been a lot of drama in this Momma's house this week.

At the end of it all, I've been told that I'm letting situations get blown out of proportion.

That the only problem is me, and that I need to move past it.

People that have pointed the finger at me, saying that things are my fault for not doing enough.

Spoken by people who have good-self esteem, people who brim with confidence. People who don't have to measure their words quite so carefully, who don't have an ingrained fear of saying something stupid, who maybe aren't worried about looking awkward. People who have probably never felt mediocre. People who haven't walked in my shoes, so they don't get how some things rub a bit more because they are hitting on an already sensitive spot, and old wound re-opened, if you will.

People who don't get how deeply I hurt, saddled with a sense of failure in a “see, you still let the little things get to you, you haven't changed at all” kind of thing. Yes, I “let” things get to me. I don't know any other way.

Bully for them.

Perhaps they are right.

So I'll try to put this behind me. I'll put on my game face. Hooray for you. The whining stops here.

But that doesn't mean I will NOT write about issues that need to be discussed HERE. This is MY house. Pull up a chair, kick off your shoes and I'll pour you a drink. What I write HERE is in part for me, to keep the little and big things in perspective, to have a giggle, to share a fun find and things that make me happy as well as to help me find my voice, and to tackle some of the more serious topics that can niggle. It isn't about retribution or whining. (Well, I try not to whine. Much) It can be about opening a discussion, even if I only make people think.

I have lived too much of my life cautiously self-censoring, carefully editing my words, except maybe to my closest friends who then get my pent-up, stream of consciousness diarrhea of the mouth – for which I will surely beat myself up over afterwards, because I just. Didn't. Shut. Up.

Apologies, friends. I'm gonna work on that.

Life is too short for the regrets that I am chock full of, and there are no do-overs. This week has been a solid reminder that life IS 5% what happens to you and 95% how you respond to it, Blah, blah, blah – and I really am doing to work on the latter. On all of it.

 

Comments

  1. Stop beating yourself up (sorry, couldn’t help it). Sure, you blow some things out of proportion as we all do, especially if our kids are involved. Some things you aren’t blowing out of proportion…only to those people who don’t want to have to deal with it like they should.

    As for what you think is diarrhea of the mouth brain dump, if you can’t do that with your close friends what the heck good are we. So don’t regret unloading on us.

  2. And that is why I just added another $25 on my skype phone account.

Leave a Reply