On Clumsiness And Being Careful What You Wish For…

The universe has a way of warning you to be careful what you wish for. My clumsiness is something to behold. When the former and the latter meet, it’s not pretty. This is my story.

Earlier this week, I was mad blogging about the Hay Festival, books, authors and the rain. I could only wish for enough free time to read all the books I have lined up on my coffee table and Kindle app.

Today, the sun is shining, and while I should be sitting at the How The Light Gets In Festival just up the road from me, listening to live music or at the Hay Festival with my daughter…I’m inside, reading one of the many books I have lined up on my coffee table and Kindle app.

With my foot propped up.


They think. (Think?)


I fell. Clumsy, I am, but I’ve never broken a bone before, not even when I bought my first pair of Rollerblades in my twenties. But I tripped forward, awkwardly, rolling my toes under and putting my weight on the top of my foot.

(Ok. The full story? I was kneeling on the floor, folding laundry, sitting back on my feet, and one of said feet fell asleep. I stood up, discovering said foot was completely pins-and-needles numb, stupidly put my weight on said sleepy foot, and, catching my completely senseless big toe on the carpet, fell forward, with the top of my foot folding on the floor. )

There was a loud crack. It looked more like a sprain, however, and so the next morning my lovely friend and neighbor drove me to a nearby hospital which has a minor injury unit, to get a “just to be safe” x-ray.

To make an already-too-long story short, they asked:

“have you injured this foot before? Because, it’s curious, there is a bone chip but it kind of looks like it’s an old one. But it IS tender there (poking foot – OUCH!) so….we think it is probably broken.”

(A confidence-inspiring diagnosis….)

“Yes, we’ll treat it as a break”, she continued, “so here is some paperwork, give it to them at Neville Hall” (a larger hospital about another 20 miles away) “…you have an appointment at the fracture clinic on Monday”.

I stare down at the cotton gauze wrap they’ve (loosely) put on my foot. The chances of that surviving in place for the remainder of the day – let alone Monday – are slim-to-none, and I’m pretty confident I’ll resemble a resurrected mummy by the time I hobble into the fracture clinic.  I also have to wonder at the sensibility of giving a hugely uncoordinated person with a bouncy, always underfoot cocker spaniel a set of crutches.

I’m angry at myself. I’ll likely miss out on my day at Ascot for the horse races, as I can’t imagine hobbling around on these aluminum sticks and one heeled shoe to match my adorable little hat. My Couch-to-5K plan is put on hold. So are my daily dog walks, which I enjoy nearly as much as Macy. I can’t run the vacuum,  carry a laundry basket, scrub bathtubs, or…


Cloud, meet silver lining.

If you need me, I’ll be here in my big blue chair, foot propped up.


Frustrated. But reading.

Be careful what you wish for, people…


Have your own tale of epic clumsiness? Share in the comments (and make me feel better!


  1. I can assume Pete wasn’t able to bring you back the old style crutches. Good luck. Hopefully when you have a cast on you can hobble a little better. Wish I was closer to help. Dad said I could fly over. I asked if he was nuts. Love ya, but I think I will pass….

    • oh, he did, and I’m as equally incompetent on them as I am with the elbow crutches. While they are (overall) more comfortable to use, most of my bras have boning on the side and the crutches are catching the boning. Don’t know if I can manage bra shopping if the boning rips from the pulling so I may end up with the arm crutches getting more use.

  2. Actually, Sophia had to wait a week before she got her permanent cast on so waiting only a few days is pretty good. And we were told that was standard wait time here

    • The upside of life in Barrington is that aside from a dry cleaners, nail salon and hair salon per family, we have an excessively large number of doctors in the area – spoiled for choice, really, although determining who is good and who has no bedside manner is the bigger challenge.

  3. I have never broken a bone and I never knew it was so easy 😐

    Wishing you a speedy recovery… and at least the weather sucks so you won’t feel bad about not being able to run around outside 🙂

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