Just Stick Her in the Shed

I read an article today about authorities recently discovered a body stored in a Clearwater, Florida storage unit.

Apparently, the unit’s renter was behind on fees, and when owners notified them that they’d be selling off the contents, she said “My grandmother is in that storage unit.”

Now, at this point in the article, I’m thinking Grandma’s ashes. Nope. She was embalmed and in her casket.

In a storage unit.

My initial thought was “Who the hell does that?” Seriously – what is the point? I would think cremation would be cheaper if you don’t want the hassle of burying her….and is she in there with the rest of her stuff?


My second thought was: how the heck did they actually get her there? I mean, what funeral home drops Granny off at the local U-Store-It, anyway?

* * * * *

It’s a difficult thing, to be sure, dealing with getting a plot and all the funeral details, but I can admit, I wouldn’t consider putting any of my loved ones in a storage locker.

Not that I have to worry about it. My parents have already purchased their plot.

And their headstone.

And went ahead and had it engraved with their names. (“All you need to do is fill in the dates!”)  I discovered that little gem after my grandfather’s memorial service at the cemetery. It was mentioned in passing…”You wanna see it?”, my dad asked.

Not particularly, thanks. My brother-in-law jokingly said we needed to get a picture of them, standing behind it, thumbs up….

I’d laugh, if it didn’t totally creep me out.

* * * * *

On a related note, my dad wants to be cremated and buried in a beer keg. I think my mom already bought it. (E-bay?)

* * * * *

Oh, and it turns out that the dead woman’s daughter – the one who put her there – is also deceased.

You gotta wonder where they put HER.


  1. OK, get the facts right. I was not in favor of the stone being engraved. No way. And your Dad bought the keg on e-bay. I told him he has to make a nice cherry box to sit it in Not having that thing sitting in front of the altar at school. Not the any priest has never seen a keg. And it is a ponykeg. An antique no less. Thats your father. A picture on top of the ground might not be a bad idea. Maybe when you come home next time. Could get a picture of all the grandkids sitting on it. Have one infront of the memorial of Uncle Jimmy.

  2. I have to go to a storage unit tomorrow. Now I’m going to be totally creeped out when walking past all the other units. Especially if they smell.

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