My Life Stories…such as they are

Everyone has those stories that you tell over and over, some which you love to tell…and some which you wish no one would ever, EVER bring up again. Ever.

I will admit, I must be a perfectly boring person, because I have LOADS of these stories to recount about my friends (where I was an observer)….but me? I can’t seem to remember anything actually memorable. Ok, none that are memorably funny. No falling – repeatedly, dependably, frequently – off of bar stools (hey, Jim! :waves:) or peeing on my white cowboy boots in the parking lot of the local fun days (that would be Christie) or flirting so long with a guy on a Florida beach that I forget to flip over, and burn the back of my legs so badly that I can’t walk (definitely Tina) or anything like that.

THOSE are stories.

I even messaged some of my besties and asked them for stories…and basically, I think we agreed that I was the boring practical sensible one of the group who REMEMBERS the stories.


However, after much thought, I did come up with ten things. This, my friends, is the best I’ve got….

  1. My sister and I dressed up my cousin James in some clothes from our dress-up box (wig, old lady hat, dress, etc) then snuck him out the basement steps and marched him through the kitchen. Past his mom. Who waved hello. But didn’t recognize him.
  2. When I was in grade school/high school, I got hand-me-downs from my older cousin Beth, who would buy a shirt/pair of trousers in about every color if she liked them. Which meant that not only did I often end up with a shirt I didn’t like, I’d have it in six colors. Did I mention how cool I was as a kid? Yeah, that cool.
  3. My mother, who loves yard sales (and garage sales), decided she HAD to stop at a yard sale when we were traveling through Beverly Hills when in California visiting my grandparents. On the way down the driveway, we met Darren McGavin, who I think was buying a rattan coffee table. Go figure.
  4. In the days pre-cell phone, my dad had installed a CB radio for safety. He bought a cheap set from a local shop so the quality really wasn’t good. In the end he had to get a CB amplifier to be able to make out what people were saying. He also installed a speaker under the hood to go with the PA system on the CB radio. We had a lot of fun with that!
  5. I flew down to school (SIU) with my buddy Dave, then an aviation student, in his dad’s 4-seater Cessna. Our buddy Dennis (now Father Dennis) was asleep in the back seat under a blanket (it was cold in the plane) and we thought it would be funny to climb, and then dive, which rendered Dennis momentarily weightless, at which moment he woke up. It was a dumb-ass idea. But it was funny. Do we lose points in the big book for scaring a future priest half to death?
  6. I got so drunk on Jack Daniels on my first weekend away at University that it was 7 years before I could even smell it without getting queasy. In fact, I couldn’t even stand the smell of rum – because it was too close to whiskey. :shudders: Did I mention I tended bar for a year in college? Talk about work hazards….
  7. Speaking of tending bar, the bar I worked at was a combination nightclub/30 lane bowling alley/outdoor sand-volleyball bar. I wore a white tuxedo shirt and a green bow-tie. Classy. Even when working the volleyball bar. We did have a few rednecks locals at the bowling lanes, too, and when I first started I was constantly confused as to whether they wanted change (for betting on each frame) or a beer because the pronunciation of “quarters” and “Coors” was pretty much the same. It was SOUTHERN Illinois. People don’t realize how far south the state stretches, y’all. Yee. Haw.
  8. There was a guy who lived in my dorm (who was at least a 5th year senior, if not 6th) who had a thing for Denny’s Restaurant, and would con us freshmen into going on road trips with him. To Denny’s. Yes, we drove to Paducah, Kentucky, and I think as far as Texarkana, Arkansas for a Grand Slam on random Saturday nights. Because we could.
  9. I threw up on some guy who was hitting on me (but I wasn’t interested in) in the parking lot at the Alumni Club. He lent me his softball t-shirt, which I wore for years after because it was a pretty cool shirt. Him? Never even gave him my number. (Probably didn’t even realize he wanted it, I was so used to guys asking me if my friend was available….)
  10. Back in the late ’90s (in the days of the $200 round trip flights from Chicago to EUROPE) I flew with a group of friends to Paris. For the weekend. It was a blast, including hitting a really hot (literally, we were melting) salsa club (which I later learned had been voted as having the WORST restrooms in Paris – accurately, I may add) and stayed out until 4am, which pretty much put us back on Central Standard Time, and then our body clocks were REALLY messed up. We had a blast. It’s very important to do silly, stupid, impulsive stuff like this before you REALLY have to be responsible.

And there is my 10! Ok, so I admit, I have more than 10 life stories…but some stories don’t need to be repeated!

Mama’s Losin’ It
This post, such as it is, was inspired by one of this week’s prompts for Mama Kat’s Writer’s workshop:
#3 You know the stories that are retold a million times at family gatherings? I call them Life Stories that you just never live down. List your Top 10 Life Stories.


  1. Do we know the guy you barfed all over? I don’t remember hearing that little love story.

  2. Love that you thought about it and had some stories! I thought they were great! Life sure does deal us some funny experiences.

  3. “It’s very important to do silly, stupid, impulsive stuff like this before you REALLY have to be responsible.” AMEN TO THAT!!!

    I was a Flight Attendant for years before my first child was born, and I consider that World Travel as the best years of my life and I’m so very very glad I got it out of my system before he was born. Although, do you ever get wanderlust out of your system, EVER?

    And OMG at the Cessna story! I can see the guy half floating and scaring the be-jeezus out of him! Here’s hoping it doesn’t buy you a one way ticket out of Heaven!!!

    • You NEVER get wanderlust out of your system…it’s just a matter of time before you take your children out exploring with you, and hope that they catch it too!

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