Dear So and So: The Late (Saturday) Travel Edition

As I started to write this post, I realized that I was really racking up a list of grievances I had against my fellow travelers (and miscellaneous people I met) on my last two holidays, and that, really, I didn’t want to rant to you about this crap.

I want to rant to them.

But I can’t, not really, since most of them were strangers.

Then I realized that they would make perfect “Dear So and So” posts.

Only, see, Kat does her “Dear So and So” on Fridays. And it’s now Saturday.

But then I realized that it is still Friday in parts of the US. So sue me. I’m making this the “UK Late Saturday Edition”. And with that, here we go:

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Dear Fellow Cruisers:

Everywhere you turn, there is a suggestion to do something to avoid the spread of germs. (i.e.: Wash your hands. With soap. And hot water.) The dining room staff hand you a antiseptic wipe for your hands as you enter the dining rooms. Hell, they hand you a fresh wipe as you get on the boat.

I chuckled at the suggestion to open the restroom door with a paper towel as you exit, then deposit said paper towel in the bin by the door – surely this was overkill?

Until I saw you leave the restroom without washing up. Followed by another person. And then a third.

And they were not kids. They were ADULTS.

Have you not heard of NOROVIRUS?

Dude, wash your hands. Please.

(And yes, I DID open the restroom doors with a paper towel.)

Thanks,

I’m Not  A Germophobe, Really

 

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Dear Virgin Atlantic:

You cannot pour white cheese sauce over penne pasta, smear it with inedible beef barbeque – and then call it “mac and cheese” -seriously, you aren’t fooling my kids, then toss a bag of Haribo and a bag of apples on a tray and call it a kid’s meal.

Well, you can – and you did – but trust me, it isn’t.

You also can’t toss a bag of animal crackers on an adult meal and call that a kid’s meal, either.

If you want to make your customers happy, honestly, feed the kids on the plane. Because whiny kids do not a pleasant flight make.

 

Love ya,

The Smart Woman who Packs Extra Snacks for her Kids

 

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and speaking of flying on Virgin:

 

Dear Economy Class Whiner:

Standing behind my seat and commenting very LOUDLY on how you would NEVER spend an extra $300 bucks to sit in that class because it really isn’t worth it only makes you sound like an ass.

And really, it is worth it, if only so that I don’t have to sit next to whiners like you. And the extra legroom doesn’t suck. Nor does the champagne I’m sipping as you are shlepping past me with your luggage, as it makes me not care so much about comments like yours. Or how much my kids are whining.

 

Love,

Sticking with Premium Economy

P.S. that little half window that divides the sections is NOT sound proof. We all heard your 45 minute rant about how stupid we all are. And we were all just a teensy bit happy when your grumbling started up about how cramped your legs were.

 

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Dear Miscellaneous Americans Travelling Abroad:

Complaining that no one speaks English – when you are in Italy – makes YOU sound like an ass. I hate to stereotype, but I’m guessing you also make comments back home about Spanish not being the national language and how people need to learn English…

well…

HELLO……the Italians are prolly saying that about YOU.

Just sayin’….

Signed,

I Know Just (Barely) Enough Italian to Shop, Order Lunch, and Ask For the Bathroom (With Hand Motions)

 

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Dear Moron,

While, yes, we do drive on the “WRONG” side of the road here in the UK, I did drive on the RIGHT side of the road for over 25 years before moving here (you can skip the math, please), so NO, I won’t be driving on the wrong side of the road while I’m in the US.

Unless you are standing on the left, saying “Cheerio” in a bad English accent, and then I might be tempted.

(I might get into the wrong side of the car to drive, but that was only once.)

Love,

A Good Driver on BOTH Sides of the Road

 

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Comments

  1. Waaaahhhhh

  2. ha ha, I ALWAYS use a piece of toilet paper to flush the chain, and open/close the toilet door. My four year old has been quietly observing me all this time and now insists on doing it herself ‘My mummy says you must not get germs’ etc. I hate to think what her pre-school thought of me 🙂

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