You know you’re a rookie mom when….

Ok, so babies do NOT come with owners manuals. They should, but they don’t….and the myriad of parenting books – all which contradict each other – are no substitute.  Of course, every other experienced mother (and mother-in-law) out there will be more than happy to give you THEIR advice, solicited or not.

Still, you know you’re a rookie mom when:

  1. You’re terrified of using an anal thermometer
  2. You wake up your sleeping baby so that you can feed him on schedule
  3. The thought of cutting your baby’s teensy-tiny fingernails is enough to strike terror in your heart. (True story – I had a neighbor who admitted to biting off her children’s nails – she hated the scissors/clippers)
  4. You burst into tears because after umpteen tries you still simply CANNOT get the diaper on your now lightning fast rolling-over baby.
  5. You believe all that crap about breastfeeding being EASY.
  6. You get anxious when your baby sleeps too long at nap time, rushing to the crib to check that he/she is still breathing
  7. You speed-dial the pediatrician over every little sneeze or hiccup — or over-Google until you convince yourself that the baby has some deadly disease
  8. You mistakenly think you can keep any semblance of a schedule. Face it, if you put on clean clothes and have a shower by 1pm, you’re doing damn well. Bonus points if the clothes actually match and/or fit/aren’t your husband’s T-shirts.
  9. You think you have too many things that need to be done so you don’t possibly have time to nap when the baby does. (Oh, how I miss that luxury….wait…my kids are in school all day now….)
  10. You have 10,000 pictures….of your 5 day old.

The problem with this list?  It applies to new moms.

The reality is, it never really gets easier. The problems/frustrations/situations just change.  In the mornings – as Pea is working on her fifth strop of the day and its only 8am – I long for the days when she was just fussy. Then, I could pop her in her “pouch”, as Boo called it, and she’d settle right down. Ok, so there were times when she was in the pouch during mealtimes, with a napkin laid over her so I didn’t spill food on her….but it worked.

I still haven’t mastered how to quickly put an end to the fussiness and endless tantrums.

I still suck at the redirect.

I get so frustrated sometimes that I overlook the simple solutions.

Are you ever a “pro”? I don’t think so.  You might master the newborn stage…and then they are toddlers…and then preschoolers…and soon, teenagers.  I think the reality is that some of us figure out that you can’t control things all the time and get really good at rolling with the flow…and some of us *ahem* don’t.

And that’s ok, too. At the minimum, it provides good blogging material, since at least I’ve learned to laugh at myself.

Mama's Losin' It

This post was inspired by a prompt in today’s Writer’s Workshop.

Comments

  1. 2 & 6 made me laugh. I did them both …. the first time.

  2. Ya, I did #6 and always thought what the heck is wrong with me. But, after speaking to other mothers, I found out I wasn’t the only one that did this.

  3. love it. so true, all of it. now following. please follow me back at http://www.momma-licious.blogspot.com!
    Morgan Smith recently posted..UPDATE- Life hasnt been Mommalicious Lately!

  4. You are so right. i’m parenting a teenager for the very first time. And you’re right. It never ever gets easier. Curiosities with Internet porn, newfound freedoms, unique fashion sense, frustrations with school…sometimes I long for the days when a temper tantrum was the worst of my worries.
    Kimberly recently posted..Eat What You Can Reach

join the conversation

*

CommentLuv badge