Sweet Relief

Falling under the categories of “Too Much Information” and “I can’t believe I’m sharing this”….


It was a routine OB/Gyn appointment, when my doc noticed a tiny cyst where one shouldn’t be. “We’ll just do a biopsy of it to be sure it’s nothing – I’m sure it is nothing.” (Why do they always talk in the plural? It’s not as if I’m holding the knife for him…)

About a week later, on my birthday, my cell phone rang. It was my doctor. “How’s your day going today?”, he asked. “Great, it’s my birthday today”, I replied.

“Oh, um, well, I’ll just call you back tomorrow then.”

Note to self: Having your doctor offer to call you back – when he’s called out of the blue – simply because you’re having a great day is NEVER a good sign.

It wasn’t. Turned out that the nothing did turn out to be something. And “we” needed to take care of it. Only, I was moving to the UK in less than a month. “We” had surgery to remove those nasty cells. I flew to the UK a week later. Ouch. We’ll leave it at that.

And waited a YEAR to get a referral to see a specialist here for a follow-up appointment. Needless to say, my doctor in the States was hyperventilating because I hadn’t seen anyone and a year had gone by. I was heading back to the States for a few weeks holiday, so I made an appointment with him for the works. (I also made an appointment for a mammogram, since they don’t start them in the UK until you are 50. I know what you’re thinking: I have the BEST holidays, ever.) Of course, I finally get my referral for one of those same weeks. My doc back home says “I get you first”. I was also thinking about going elsewhere to another clinic like you can find if you click here so I was able to book another mammogram here in the States, this way I should have gotten the results faster. However, I thought I’d leave it to Doctor in the states and the specialist over in the UK.

Oh, goody. They can fight over me now.

So, lucky girl that I am, I get to have two colposcopies within two weeks. I know. Jealous again, right? And you know what that means.

TWO sets of results to wait for.

I’ve never felt such sweet relief when both tests came back clear.

The doc in the UK says “we’ll see you in two years”. Which is fine, because over here, they have a video screen so they can see everything through the colposcope in living color. Imagine my shock when I turn to the left and see my vajayjay in HD. I’m hoping to never see that again. My doc in the US said “Get yourself back here in 6 months.” Which probably totally confuses the doctors here, but that is another post entirely.

Thanks for the sharing of Too Much Information can be sent to Mama Kat for her Writer’s Workshop prompt. This week’s prompts include “Scarring”, “The Last Time My Heart Melted was…”, “A moment you were really relieved”, “20 ideas to make this year the best year yet”, and “I told you so” – there are some really wonderful posts this week, and you can find them here. And I’m pretty sure they don’t involve vajayjays.

Mama's Losin' It


  1. Well I’m glad everything came back negative. Now you can bedazzle!!! LOL

  2. I’m certainly glad that your last results are clear… and that you now live in the UK and can wait 2 years instead of 6 months…
    Stopping in from MamaKat’s

    • I think I’d rather have the 6 month checkup. Their first question to me here was “Um, so why…exactly…were you seeing a gynecologist in the US???”
      Wha-huh? Sometimes, I think I’m living in the 50s here.
      Thanks for stopping by!

  3. Wonderful news that everything is clear- horrible news that they have a video screen where you can see your lady bits while they do there business. Like it isn’t bad enough they want to carry a conversation while doing paps, now they want to throw in a “home movie” as well. Yikes!

    I would be glad with going every 2yrs instead of every 6mths. I think anymore that we over react to things and over diagnose (just in general)

    • Normally, I would agree with you but this type of precancerous cell has a 40% recurrence rate AND my previos 6-mo checkup came back clear (it was a fast-growing form). Since I’ve had similar instances before (but it’s been 10 yrs) I fall firmly in the better safe than sorry camp.
      I do think US docs hand out antibiotics in the same was as candy tossed at 4th of July parades!!
      Thanks for coming by!

  4. Yeah!

    • Ok so the blog title in your kinky just made me snarf coffee out my nose.
      And that it’s part two??
      Omg. Hilfuckinglarious.

  5. I’m glad everything came back great! I gave too much information too! Glad I am not alone!

    • You win!!!
      I haven’t left a comment at your blog because I’m choking on my breakfast cereal.
      Can’t say I wouldn’t do the same.

  6. I am so glad your results were clear! I have had one or two of those not so nice experiences with your ob/gyn however, all is good now. Thanks for sharing and have a fabulous weekend.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: