Make Me Laugh Monday – Deep Thoughts, or how I Once Again Fail to Rise to the Occasion in Parenting

Last night, snuggling with Boo at bedtime, he hit me with yet another deep philosophical question:

“Mommy, why did God make bears”?

He meant bears-in-the-wild, not the Chicago Bears.

Just to clarify. Being a Bears fan, and all.

Curious, I said: Why do you ask that?

He says: Bears kill people.
I say: So do sharks.

(He pauses….wait for it…)

“Ok, Mom – why did God make bears and sharks? They are mean. They kill people”.

Excellent question, the same that could be asked of politicians, the color puce, and reality TV – why God made them, that is.

Yes, this is one of those moments where I fail to rise to the occasion and be the helpful, thoughtful mom I could be. I could go into a discussion of creationism…or tell him that it’s an excellent question for Daddy (but I won’t, as he worked all weekend)….and hell, I’ve had two glasses of wine tonight, and I’m tired. I’ve got…nothin’.

So I respond “well, you know, deer and cows might think the same thing about us?” (Lame, I know. I told you, major parenting Fail.) He looks at me, confused, “But we don’t shoot cows”.

“Yes, but we feed them, and then we kill them and cut them up for burgers.* I’m sure they think we are scary, too.”

“Oh.” Clearly, not the answer he was looking for.

(My friend Kristy has always hit her eldest with “Hmm, that’s a good question – you’ll have to ask God when you meet him” – but I’m too superstitious to go down that road.)

That’ll teach him to ask me a question, now won’t it.

The Hubs tells me that Boo asked HIM the exact same question when THEY were snuggling.
After we did.

Apparently, it DID teach him not to ask me.

*Don’t give me THAT look. His class took a field trip to the local butcher, for goodness sake. The boy stuffed SAUSAGES with the butcher. He knows where meat comes from, and surprisingly, isn’t weirded out.


  1. He asks tough questions!!

  2. Your blog is a riot! 🙂 Totally funny. Sorry you don’t have all of the answers… I fail this challege daily.

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