Today is a big day for my son. On the other hand, I’m finding myself slightly nauseous and a wee anxious.
I’m taking my fifteen-year-old to the DMV to get his learner permit. If that isn’t terrifying enough, he’s asked to do parent-taught drivers ed.
And I stupidly agreed to do it.
The thought of having to be the one to teach him is a bit intimidating. I also confess to being most nervous about sitting next to him in the car when he is in control for the first time.
Let’s face it: I pump the imaginary brake enough as a passenger when my husband drives. I fear I will wear a spot in the carpeting, and I can’t do that, or I’ll make HIM more anxious – and he picks up, and reacts to my anxiety enough as it is.
But here’s my real secret concern: While I consider myself a good driver, but when it comes to actually teaching someone else to drive, will I measure up? Am I good enough to be an example? Have I already set a good example of safe driving? (as the realization hits me that he has been watching me for years.)
Well, crap.
* * *
You can be certain that, as soon as I realized this would be in the cards, that I became hyper-aware of my driving, as well as that of others.
“Never do that.” Never mind that I might have done something similar yesterday.
“People don’t use their signals here so you just have to be alert.” Yes, I know I put mine on earlier than I should but it’s because that car is on my bumper.
I watch as someone rolls through the stop sign in front of us.
“Other drivers don’t always stop, either.” Did I count to five at the last stop?
* * *
Mixed in with everything else is a tinge of sadness. This permit means he is one step closer to his driver’s license, to more freedom and independence and stretching his wings, and a little bit closer to when he flies the nest for college. I can’t believe he’s going to be driving soon!
And there we have it folks. Mama just wants to hold on to her baby a little bit longer. Being the teacher makes it a little too real.
* * *
I think if we can find our patience and inner peace, we’ll have something to bond over during the next twelve months.
*blinks*
It’s not too late to enroll him in a course, right?
Thoughts and prayers are welcomed.
I think I would opt for the actual course. You will have enough stress just with getting his time and miles in. Just saying.