Ants in the Keurig Means No Coffee in the Momma

If I seem a little stabby today, it’s because my caffeine levels are low. You see, there are ants in my Keurig.

ants

(Not the Keurig in question. Because that would be gross.)

 

Now, apparently if you live somewhere sugar ants can be a problem, this is NOT an altogether unusual thing, at least not according to Google.

(That said, I will highly recommend that you NOT Google “ants in your Keurig”. Just don’t do it.)

Let me back things up a bit.

Last week, I noticed the occasional, teeny, tiny sugar ant wandering on my desk. I would promptly dispatch him from his simple life, then clear off my desk in a panic trying to figure out where he had wandered from, subsequently dispatching a second lonely ant in a similar, squishy manner. I still have not discovered from whence they appeared in my desk area, but I never saw more than two at a time. Apparently, like women headed for the restroom, they travel in pairs.

Saturday morning, I found a few wandering around the kitchen counter adjacent to my desk. There would now be a group three – I guess they bring a friend further afield – but they wandered in the same two foot space, not venturing to either the sugar bowl or the muffins in a bakery container. They seemed to be appearing from the outlet by the Keurig. Since the pest control guys were due a visit that coming Monday, I made a mental note to let them spray the outside of the house and I’d continue to squish ants as they appeared, and viciously wipe down the counters with vinegar (because apparently, this wiped away any trace of pheromones they left behind).

Side note:  I have Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis for which I take medication that requires me to wait an hour before eating or drinking anything to assure proper absorption. This means that I must wait an hour after rising before I can take my first blessed sip of coffee. That first sip of coffee is very much-anticipated by myself and my family.

On Monday morning I joyfully approach my coffee machine at the appointed time – only to notice after brewing that first sacred cup that sugar ants have decided to take a swim in my Keurig reserve tank. I doubt, actually, that a swim was the original plan as bobbing at the top of the water was a little, M&M sized blob of ants, crawling on top of each other so as not to drown.

And yes, they were IN my Keurig tank? That had me spewing coffee into the sink, eyeing the remaining contents for travelers. Was that a random coffee ground or a corpse? The cup’s contents went down the drain. I dumped the tank, cleaned it out well, sprayed down the counter and outside of the pot with more vinegar.

The pest control people soon arrived and sprayed the exterior, saying this was the time of year they head inside to nest before the temperature dropped too much.

When they had departed, I eyed my Keurig. It was, once again, again a Club Med for ants. I was not happy. I sprayed the kitchen again with vinegar. In a room now smelling like a dill pickle, I took to Google like a crazed, uncaffeinated woman with a mission.

Then I became a grossed out, uncaffeinated woman.  At Target, I purchased liquid ant bait, ant traps and an organic “safe for kids” ant repellant.  Oh, and a venti extra shot latte, because I could.

Once home, I doused the countertop with the organic spray. What was that smell? Apparently, oil of clove, rosemary and thyme. (All I needed was patchouli to complete the mix to make it smell like the house I rented my junior year in college.)

When a single ant raced up and down my freshly sprayed countertop, I chucked the healthy crap to the side and went for the borax, using a Q-tip to spread liquid bait inside the wall behind the outlet cover and then set out a bait trap right.  Remembering that ants supposedly don’t like cinnamon, I poured a semi-circle of spice around the outlet area to contain them.

The Hubs referred to it as the “ring of fire”.

ants

Whatever it takes.

But my Keurig couldn’t continue to serve as a spa for them. I poured a gallon of vinegar into the reserve tank and went through the whole descaling process. And then ran water. And more water. Still smelling of vinegar, I bagged it all up in a garbage bag, sealed the top and tossed it in the other room.

Today is day two of the ant trap and I’ve seen but one lost ant wandering around. I threw out another bait trap for good measure. Google tells me it could take up to two weeks to kill the teeny bastards.

Which is why, as I type, I am brewing espresso in the Bialetti Moka I forgot about in a high cabinet.

ants

Two weeks feel like a mighty long time.

And if you should stop by for a visit?

You’re welcome to bring me a latte.

 

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Comments

  1. Oh my goodness! I would likely lose my mind altogether as well! We had terrible ants a couple years ago but thankfully they never got inside my Keurig (that I know of).

  2. I don’t even know what to say to this. I would…. what, what would I even do?
    Ugh, not the coffee. Never the coffee.
    Laura McGowan recently posted..Six Things To Do When Your Kid Is Stupid And Ugly

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